Dinner for today is dedicated to Carla
Other than lasagna, if you asked me what food made me think of my ex the most I would say teriyaki chicken over rice. It was the one dish that she cooked the most while we lived together I think and as such it reminds the the most of us living together. So I tried blindly to replicate her handiwork tonight and the chicken came out OK, but the rice is another matter entirely. I will have to get the hang of the rice cooker as I think I may have committed a crime against humanity with respect to the preparation of the rice.
I am desperately trying to make some semblance of normalcy reappear in my life. Tomorrow will be the 3 month anniversary of our break up. I am pushing myself so hard to become a better person because of this whole thing, trying to do more and not let the sadness overwhelm me like I know it can. It is hard, I miss her a lot more than I ever really thought I could miss anyone. I still use her as a barometer for a lot of things, like when I have been redecorating the house, a lot of my decisions have come down to what style do I think she would like. Obviously the intent is to create a home for myself that embodies my own likes and desires but many of the things that she would like I enjoy either because of her influence on me or simply because we share many of our tastes. I think I have succeeded even though this is the easy part of the growing process I have to go through it is no less as important as learning how to communicate better.
Anyway, I will have to get better with the rice, but other than that, not a bad dinner.
Tags: love, lust, gluttony