The end is near.
Sunday was pretty good, pretty emotion filled but otherwise good. She and I ended up sitting up and talking until shortly after midnight drinking plum wine and looking at pretty Japanese things on the internet. Last night she pretty much just packed until she couldn’t move anymore and appears pretty frustrated by the whole thing. It is tearing me up inside to see the house getting taken apart like this. She is 1/3 of the family that I felt we had here that built this place into a home and her leaving is really hard for me both because it’s the end of our relationship but because it’s the end of this place being the home that it has been.
It also feels that our chance for friendship after this is tenuous at best. I want to keep my promise to her that we would always be friends so badly, but something just feels off in this whole situation. Like a force is looming in the shadows outside of my field of vision that is pulling us… not unnecessarily apart, but pulling us in a direction that I can’t quite make out. I feel that we’re going to be apart for some time while we try and nurse our wounds, I just hope that it’s in the cards for us to find each other again.
At least the plum wine was good!
Tags: love, lust, gluttony