Mornings suck
So more fun here as I fight fires at work left over from yesterday’s fun.
Last night was pretty okay. She and I went and grabbed some Mc Nuggets and I got to ride in her new car. She still puts me a tiny bit at ease even though I was filtering a lot of what I was saying because I didn’t want to turn the evening into a bitch at her fest again.
Then I found out this morning that Mom was going to ambush her today. Of course it turned out far worse than I expected. I feel so torn between a billion and one different places. I still love her very much and I know that I will for a long time because that is who I am. As such I am still fiercely protective of her and I’m getting frustrated and hurt when I see her getting beaten up like this. At the same time I know my family is just trying to be loyal to me and protect me and that they don’t realize that by doing this they are hurting me just as much as they are hurting her.
I think it says something about me that even after all of this I am more upset that I’m not doing a better job protecting her than I am that our relationship is over. I really really hope grandfather would be proud of me.
Tags: love, lust, gluttony, work