Christmas
It is quickly approaching christmas, she’s gone for the weekend, my family here are about to leave and I will be here all alone with my thoughts. I can’t go home yet, it is all too raw and yet I feel as if I am abandoning my family. In a strange way I felt like her and I were the parents in a rather strange family and dispite all of this I still do feel that this is more of a divorse than a simple breakup. I can see myself forgiving her now, I know she’s a good person who just made a terrible mistake. The really truely hard part, that I’m having a real hard time swallowing is that forgiveness may not be enough. And I’m terrified as we all are of time; for we are just mortal creatures and time is this thing that continues to pass us by until eventually we realize how much we let slip.
My father stopped by today to wish us a merry christmas. It was hard, especially with the number of things recently that I have been challanging myself to deal with that stem from my relationship with him. He is looking awfully thin and pale, I admit to being worried about him. As much as my relationship with him has hurt me in the past I still do not wish him any ill favours and am distressed to see him appearing unwell.
Anyway…
A merry christmas to all, may your lives be full of warmpth and people who love you. That is what truely matters in this life, so hold it dear my friends and do not let time pass you by and leave you longing in the end for that which you always had.
To those of you who are or were my friends, I love you all very truely and wish you all the best. To anyone whom may have wronged me in the past you have my forgiveness. And to those whom have wronged me in the present you have my best wishes despite it all. And finally to those whom I have wronged you have my most sincere, heartfelt apologies.
My resolution for the new year is to find the strength in myself to follow through on my promise and become a better person and a better partner. I know I have it in myself, I just need to find it.
Tags: love, lust, gluttony